Tuesday, December 22, 2009

#6~ Grades!

Spanish 1 - B+
Survey of Theatre - A
International Lit - A
Principals of Acting - A
GPA - 3.794!
The joy of having done SO well my first sememster - PRICELESS!!!

I am so happy and so pleased with myself for pulling this off especially with a month-long illness. And all of those wonderful people whose encouraging words I carried with me to campus everyday; they are proud of me too!
Semester #2 - Here I come!
Spanish 2
English 102
Comm 204
Advanced Acting
Principal of Education

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

#5 Saying Goodbye

Well, I guess even the best years of our lives will also have their sad moments.
My Papa, Earl Walker, passed away yesterday after a long, tough battle with Alzheimer's. He was 81 years old. Now I am a girl without a grandpa. Its rather a sad thing to be.
My Papa was a good guy. He loved Johnny Carson, Benny Hill and The Dukes of Hazzard - all shows we weren't allowed to watch at home. He had a great sense of humor, a contagious laugh and a youthfulness about him. All my life I can remember him having "toys". Sometimes they were real toys like his electric dump set; or grown up toys like his woodworking tools. Even as he began to lose parts of who he was, that youthfulness remained.
I think that what brings a smile to my face most right now, though, is thinking of the special bond he had with my son, CJ. Papa loved his 2 girls. I don't doubt that, but I don't think it is any secret he would have enjoyed having a son too. When CJ was born, Papa became Papa-the-Great for the first time. I noticed a special new glint in his eyes. As CJ got older, he and Papa started having special play days whenever we were in Caldwell. They would go to the park, the airport, and ALWAYS to McDonald's. They were buddies! I can still hear Papa say, "Where's my buddy, CJ?" and a little blond head would come running! How many of us even get to know our great-grandparents? I never knew any of mine. CJ got to be "buddies" with his. What a special gift.
I miss you, Papa. You behave yourself now til we all can join you. I love you! Goodbye.

Sunday, November 29, 2009


No, all you smarty-pants types, I don't mean to say that this is the first year that I have had friends. However this last year (give or take) has provided great opportunity for me to appreciate true friendships.
Of course, the year started off with my "ROCK STAR" birthday party. A house full of friends willing to wear costumes to celebrate my 35th birthday was probably all the proof I needed that I was loved, but it was just the start! Again, no major moments can be outlined as defining my friendship status, there are just a lot of moments of wonderful people willing to love and be loved that have really touched my heart.
I couldn't possibly name each friend or each moment but, how about a few highlights:
Jen O - Fabulous, fabulous, Jen. She has given me little gifts, more than once this year, just to tell me that she appreciates my friendship. She has trusted me to pray and counsel with her. She even was friend enough to apologize when she - accidentally - hurt my feelers. For 10 years now, Jen has managed to put a smile on my face whenever I see her and this year especially, it has really blessed my heart!
CJ's Graduation - It is only a few kids in our area who will celebrate completion of their 8th grade year. Because of this, I was uncertain of how people would react to receiving invitations to a BBQ in honor of my son's. I was certainly not disappointed. My house and yard were full of great friends! The best part? These were mostly people who first knew Troy or myself, then came to know and love our son because of their love for us. That is a true blessing!
Myndie - I truly believe that there will never be a year in my life from now on in which Myndie - my BFF - isn't a special part! So that means she is a highlight in this year as well!
I could go on and on:
Brother/friends like Matt and Jeremy who trust me to help them in the tough times
Long time friends like Torry, Tami, Becky, Dawn, and Kathy whose friendships seem to gain another layer with each new year.
New friends like Derek who helped make a scary new experience like college easier and so much more fun.
Special friends like Cathlin and Avril who helped me learn about the gift of forgiveness and healing.
And of course, my pukers who have celebrated each new, happy moment with me this year.
I love you ALL, my sweet friends! You make my life a great joy to live!

Monday, November 2, 2009

#3 School!

Of course this is a really big one for me.
If you have known me for very long at all, you will know that being a teacher has, quite literally been a life-long dream for me. Well, I am currently on my third and FINAL attempt at getting a college degree.
I, of course, first began this adventure in the fall of 1992. To sum that experience up quickly:
May - graduated HS
June - dumped by boyfriend who insisted I go to college with him in Lewiston
July - Moved into my first apartment in Lewiston got part-time job
Aug - Started school with 21 credits
Oct - Dropped 6 credits
Nov - Had screaming match with creative writing/poetry teacher (dropped 3 more credits)
Dec - Went home for Christmas, got report card, received 9 credits, decided college could wait.
(The good news being that when I went back to Lewiston to close out that chapter of my life after Christmas, I met my beloved - Troy)
My second attempt at college came when I was about 26. I took two classes and did quite well, but it just wasn't the right time to really pursue a degree. The kids were little and Troy wasn't really on board.

So - attempt #3
I am a full time student taking 15 credits. I am loving every minute of it! The schedule that I have allows a good amount of time for me to do my homework without cutting into family time. I am pulling A's and B's in every class. (might be all A's if I hadn't gotten hit with this illness) Best of all, Troy is totally behind it! He is as excited as I am, and together we've been able to look at the big picture and what this degree will mean to our future!
If I work hard, I'll have this degree before my 40th birthday. Christian will just be graduating HS and Mackenzie just starting. This really seems to be the best time to be doing this. I am so glad that God's timing is so much better than mine!
I have to thank all of my friends and family who have been so encouraging to me in this big adventure. It has really made a huge difference! I have felt your prayers and am bolstered by the confidence that you all have in me!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

35! #2

Yeah I know, if i don't get moving, I'll never get to #35 before I'm 36.

#2 My New Husband!

LOL! Don't worry you didn't miss anything. I'm talking about Troy, just the new Troy. God has really been working on this man and boy has He done a good job. Now, don't get me wrong; for 15 years Troy has been a good man, good provider, good dad, and a good husband for sure. This year God has just helped him grow so much in his faith that he has become even more! Everyday he shows me how much he loves and cherishes me. I can't walk by him without him stopping me for a kiss or just to tell me he loves me. All day long I get text messages from him just to say he is thinking of me. He is spporting me in going back to school. I could list at least a hundred little "sweet nothings" that he has done for me lately. It is such a great joy to be so loved!!!
He has become even more invested in our kids lives. He is now a leader for our church youth group. He pitches in with homework. He makes sure we have family moments.
He has begun to reach out to others with God's love and, let me tell you, take a man who other men already respect and look up to and pump him up with God's love and he can be a real force.
This summer he chose to be baptised and that was such a great example to so many people.
I am not feeling as eloquent as I would like to be as I've been sick for about a week but just to sum up: My husband is awesome! Thank you, Lord for giving me this amazing man!

Thursday, October 1, 2009


I've been in trouble with my mother-in-law for a while now for not blogging (I think she is my only real blog fan). So it is time to catch up! I thought to challenge myself to be a better blogger, I would create a "blog series". So here it is:

35! That's how old I am. I know that is hard to believe - I certainly don't look it! LOL! Sometimes i act....... well, no not really I guess.

Anyway, for some strange reason, I had anticipated this year of my life for a very long time. I can't explain why, but I always had this sense that - good or bad - 35 would somehow be significant for me.

Well, I'm pleased to say that, so far, it has been a really great year (just over 8 months into it). So, my "blog series" - 35 - will chronicle 35 things that have made this year special.

1 - Facebook! I know that seems a little silly. Facebook shouldn't be so important as to take the first "blog series" spotlight. But I have to say it has been a real gift to me this year! Through face book i have re-established old friendships, had more regular contact with distant friends, and - most precious to me - had more contact with my family than ever before! I love my family. I have a big one and see none of them often enough. The separation from my family that comes from living hundreds of miles away from them, is bearable in the day-to-day, but can sometimes weigh on my heart so heavily. Now, thanks to this incredible "social network" I can have "conversations" with Uncle Bob about my slinky green dresses, share random movie quotes with at least 4 of my brothers, and get regular updates on when my nieces are going to dance classes, cheer practice, or movie auditions! When I posted a note about going back to school, more than 30 people offered words of encouragement and congratulations! I get to see pictures of my amazing nephew, Joe, living out his dream of being a football player (and hanging out with cheerleaders). My sweet sister, Becca, posts videos and pictures of her sweet baby, Enzo, so regularly that it has become my habit to start my day by looking at his adorable smile.

Last Spring, thanks to facebook, six people drove more than 300 miles to see me in Miss Saigon that had never done that before. - Okay David was already coming this way, but he stopped.

I know we all lived many years without such a thing as facebook, but I am glad that those days are gone.

Huh. In my mind this was a much more eloquent piece of literature. Well, it is nearly 1 am.

Thursday, July 2, 2009


Patience has never been one of my more developed qualities. I may not be one to lose my patience easily, but I have not ever had a knack for waiting on God, trusting His timing, all of that good stuff. I tend to take matters into my own hands rather than continue to wait for His plan to become apparent. So eight years ago when my life crumbled around me and I had to, sort of, begin again, I promised God that I would wait this time. Admittedly, I didn't promise to be patient, just to wait. Eight years is no small amount of time any way you look at it. Honestly, I think if God had told me at the time that I would have to wait for eight years, I think I would have said forget it!
So, what have my eight years of waiting brought me?
Fame? No.
Fortune? Certainly not.
Nor has some amazing, life changing event occurred in my life. In fact, I can't even look at any particular event or moment that could be called the end of my waiting.
What I have is peace. "Peace that passes all understanding." I believe that is how He puts it.
I am "all good". My relationships with family and friends are all I could hope for them to be, I have 2 children who bless my heart everyday, I have a husband who... well, if I could describe how wonderful he makes me feel, I'd be over-qualified for a Pulitzer Prize.
In just a few weeks, I will be a college student again, and I am more confident in my own abilities than I ever thought I could be.
For the first time in my life, I am not at all concerned that my facade is going to fall and expose the real me. There is no facade. I am wholly exposed to the world around me and the feeling is exhilarating! I am aware that the picture isn't perfect, but it is perfectly me. I am exactly who God wants me to be.
One of the big pseudo- philosophical questions of all time is, "If you died right now, would you feel like you made a difference; like you mattered; like you had made your peace with the world?"
My answer: If I died right now, the next words I would hear are, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Who could ask for anything more?

Monday, June 22, 2009

In a Hurry but Felt the Need to Update

So...... *deep breath*
Life is good. CJ has finished his years @ Cornerstone Christian School and will be entering Jenifer Junior High as a 9th gradeer in the Fall. Prayers for this new chapter in his life are greatly apreciated. Mac is officially a middle-schooler entering 6th grade @ CCS this year. She is still pursuing dance and doing quite well. Troy is the greatest hubby I could ever hope for. He has the power to make me feel like the most amazing person on Earth. He works hard everyday and still comes home happy to see me and positive! I am not going to be on TV :(. I don't think that the show got picked up. Miss Saigon is over but it was AWESOME!! So many loved ones came to see me and many from miles away!!! Thanks! This show really gave my self esteem a boost! Now I am in the process of getting into college! I have a good on-campus job prospect, I have been accepted, and have applied for financial aide. I will register for classes in about 2 1/2 weeks and shortly after find out if I can actually afford it LOL! Please be praying that I will stay focused on God's direction in this and make the right decisions for my family.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Loving and Losing

I lost me aunt Sharon last Saturday. She was my father's only sibling and really a neat lady. She always seemed to be in a good mood even though I think that she often had good reason not to be. I loved her very much and will miss her.
What I am struggling with right now is that I was already missing her, just as I have been missing such a huge portion of my family for the last 18 years or so. Due to the proverbial "circumstances beyond my control" the amazing extended family I grew up with was torn in two and has never been repaired. It is the kind of thing that you learn to live with (or in my case learn to live across the state from) but never really fully adjust to.
Last month I finally made the decision to hand my broken family over to God and trust him to restore it (knowing full well that that may not happen in this life). I gave up my feelings of guilt and responsibility and my fears and feelings of being rejected. Now I carry with me a "restoration rock" that reminds me that God is in control of this situation.
So, I know that what I'm feeling right now is just the enemy trying to strike where I'm weak. I just wish that things were different, sometimes. I wish I had the right words to say that would heal the wounds and restore my family so that my kids could know the joy of my youth.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Reality TV here I come!!!

So Lifetime TV (or "Men are Evil" TV as my husband likes to call it) is preparing to produce a reality show about community theatre. They contacted the Lewiston Civic Theatre and asked them to apply for the show. They were told to choose 10 people who represented the theatre in all different areas of production. I am one of the 10 chosen! I had to fill out a brief questionnaire and have a head shot taken. The kids, because they are involved as well, also will submit forms and photos.
I have no idea if we will be chosen to participate or how it will all go but I am rather excited at the prospect of it all. Reality TV is one of my most guilty pleasures, but I never thought that there would be even a chance of me being part of one. I'm still kind of laughing at the whole idea of it.
Somehow, apparently, at the end of it all, someone may get to be involved in the Broadway revival of Beauty and the Beast. That would be cool! Although theatre has been a passion of mine forever and I've always loved it, I never really even thought to pursue it at any level beyond pure enjoyment. ~ It's kind of my drug ~ but I have always dreamed of what it would be like to perform at a higher level. I'm sure I'm no different than anyone else. I wouldn't mind having my fifteen minutes in the spotlight! Heck, if it got me to Broadway, I HOLD the spot light!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

More on my amazing boy!

I HAD to share this one!
So CJ and I are on our way to the bank yesterday to open his new savings account. (Good boy) As we head down the road he starts a very nervous introduction to a question, "Um, Mom, I've been wanting to ask you something for a while now. I feel kinda silly and I hope that it doesn't make you mad. I mean its not a BIG deal but I'm just not really sure what you'll say......"
"Son!" I stop him. "What is it? You know you will never get in trouble for just asking a question."
"Okay well, I was wondering if it is okay for me to use the word C R A P?" Yes. He actually spelled it out.

Now I have to add here that "crap" is a word that I am guilty of using WAY too much. I know he hears it from me often, so I am a bit surprised, really, that he is asking at all.
Then he goes on to explain that he tends to use the word "crud" and that seems like kind of a little kid word and he feels funny saying it. He thinks that C R A P (he's still just spelling it) is a little more grown up.
Now I have to interject (now that I have staved off the urge to laugh and cry at the same time) and tell him that using more vulgar words doesn't make a person sound more grown up and if that is his logic he's only a few years from thinking he should say s#*! instead and that certainly isn't okay with me.

He agrees.

As this is going on, my mind travels back to previous "swearing" episodes with the boy:
When he was about 4, he had one of those cheap, hollow plastic hockey sets. One day, we were getting into the 4 door Cavalier I was driving at the time and he was trying to get one of the hockey sticks in the back seat. Suddenly I heard, "Ugh! This damn hockey stick!"
"Christian!" I nearly choked. "You can't say that!"
After a stunned pause, he says, "I can't say 'hockey stick' ?!"

Seriously! - I about died trying to quell the laughter.
"No, son, you can't say 'damn'. Its a bad word."
"You said not to say 'dang'."
"That's because it sounds like 'damn'."
BIG sigh, "Okay, Mama."
And I've never heard a foul word out of his mouth since - honestly!
In first grade, when his classmates were talking about bad words that they knew using the single letter abreviations - 's' word, 'd' word - he told his teacher that he only knew the 'm' word and the 'd' word. "Mom and Dad?" He told her questioningly.

Now it would thrill me to say that in our God-fearing home there is never a foul word to be heard, but that would be a lie. I'm certainly no sailor but I do tend to slip and Troy.... well, he... yeah he's a bit worse, lets say. My point being: the boy hears swear words. Maybe not daily, but often enough that he could have easily picked up one or two and - getting back to the main story - probably never should have questioned the use of the C R A P word.

So I first have to take a moment to let him know how much I apreciate the level of respect that his request exhibts and thank him for honoring his dad and me that way. He blushes a little. Then I go on to explain to him that he won't get in trouble for occassionally using the word but that it is certainly not apropriate for school or youth group and shouldn't be over-used.

What a joy! Really, the kid is 14! How many 14 yr olds ask permission to say "crap"?!

Monday, March 9, 2009

I am Blessed!

This weekend was my churches annual (3 years so far) women's retreat.
For the first time, I was asked to speak. More specifically, I was asked to give a testimony about a particularly difficult time in my life when I was about 15.
I was so nervous about this testimony for a number of reasons; not the least of which being the fact that although I have 30 years of stage performance under my belt and have been involved in leading bible studies and such for over a decade, I have never publicly shared a testimony of my own personal life before.
I shared some of my "ugly" with these women and I was very concerned about how they would react to it.
Well, the reaction was SO MUCH MORE than I had even thought to hope for! Not only did God allow me to reach these ladies with what I had to say, but I was truly blessed by them! They (pretty much every one of them) all came to me one at a time and shred with me some way that my story had reached them. What a joy!!!! Two sisters who are both grandmas of teens (though they hardly look old enough) shared with me that they are determined to start a praying grandmas ministry- gather other grandmas of teens together to pray for kids regularly- and that my testimony fueled the fire for them to get going with it!
I won't go into the whole testimony here and now but I will touch on the basic point that I made because it is something that I am passionate about.

Remember that not everyone will share their pain. They are scared, embarrassed, or ashamed, perhaps. Or it may be that they have no one they feel they can share it with. In my case, I wasn't ready or willing to share my pain. Still it is there, and someone needs to pray for it. Ask God to show you who is hurting around you and how to pray for them and he will! We don't have to know the details of some one's pain in order to pray for them. In fact sometimes we are too concerned with the details and that becomes more like gossiping than helping.
It only takes a few extra seconds when you pray to say, "God, show me who I can pray for today".
Then when you see them, just say something nice, like, "Hey I thought of you today and it made me smile." I think we'd all agree that sometimes a nice comment like that can change our whole attitude!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Couldn't get much better!

So I just spent a few days in the Boise area visiting, and it was wonderful!

Friday night I had a nice visit with lil brother Ethan, his wife Kimberly and the kiddos. I am so thrilled to see how God is blessing their family and how, even though they met with such sorrow this year, there is great joy in their home. We spoke at some length about being "real" and honest about who you are and how just being as vulnerable as letting people know that you aren't always "okay" is a real blessing to people around you.

Saturday I got my Hamburger Connection fix!~ they make the best hot dogs and their special sauce is beyond comparison~ I got to see my sister-friend, Amber's new home in Nampa and hug on my sweet Livvie who is really changing from baby to big girl quickly! AND I had a great dinner and visit time with several of my "besties" from school days! I am so blessed to have these great girlfriends that have known me since my days of acne and insecurity and still love me! We talked of kids and husbands and the way we were and it was awesome! ~ So looking forward to our reunion in 3 years!

Sunday was church, a quick introduction to some of my mama's dearest friends including a nice time of prayer at her friend, Josta's home in the afternoon, then back to Caldwell to meet Enzo!
Enzo Cruz Luna is my newest nephew. He is the first child for my baby sister, Becca and her sweet hubby, Jaime. We all (lots of family) got together to meet Enzo at my dad's house ~ which he and Cheri recently did some redecorating/remodelling in and it looks fabulous! It was a great time and I so enjoy being with my family!

Monday we took Mackenzie and my niece, Justine, to the mall to go to Build-a-Bear. If you have little girls in your life and you haven't been there yet, you should go. Its a kick. Then home for dinner with sister, Jen and her kids and a quiet evening watching a movie with Mom and Dad.

Tuesday Mom, CJ and I got to tour MAF (Mission Aviation Fellowship). http://www.maf.org/ Its a really great organization where my lil bro, Phill works. Their primary purpose is to provide assistance to remote locations around the world that are most easily (or in some cases, only) reached by air. They transport teachers, missionaries, medical personnel and supplies~ whatever is needed. I am very proud of Phill for being part of this organization! Then we headed to Meridian to watch a dress rehearsal for my niece, Kate's cheer competition that will take place on Saturday. She did great! And she is such a beautiful girl! I finished up Tuesday night making dinner at lil bro Phill and pseudo bro John's new digs in Caldwell and watching a rather odd movie with some friends that I have adopted through Phill.

Wednesday was the drive home which went quite well and arriving at my new house~ that I LOVE~ and finding it so nice and clean!!! My hubby really stepped up and had the place looking great! He even painted a wall (which also turned out great). It was a perfect welcome home!!!

Today, I am just floating on the feel-good-ness of the whole week! Thank you, Lord for all of my blessings!!!!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Can you feel my pain?!

My son is nearly 14.
He is almost 6 inches taller than me! Of course as my dear little brother reminded me this morning, "That's not hard to do!"
Later this month, I will turn 35.
The tattoo that I got when I started college is now more than 16 years old!

I realize that I am not really "old" by any one's standards and I certainly don't feel old. (at least not all the time) But I only just stopped having those nightmares about showing up at school with no clothes on or completely forgetting to do an assignment. Now I'm so tired by the time I manage to quiet the millions of "to do" lists in my mind when I hit the pillow that I don't even think I do dream anymore! I put off finishing college again for another semester which is no big deal until I consider that I have now put off finishing college for 30 semesters!!! By the time I'm a teacher, they'll be calling me "Old Lady Syverson". My Classic American Lit syllabus will include the Harry Potter Series! I guess I'm okay with my age. Its just the years in between then and now that have me bewildered.

But my God is good to me. I'm sure he's getting a good chuckle out of my ranting at the moment cause in his mind I'm a mere babe, but he has given me good things in this life. I made a commitment to read through the bible this year and I cannot believe how the enemy has started trying to worm his way in to block me from my reading time. Granted it doesn't help that I started right at Genesis 1:1 and, lets face it, that isn't the MOST exciting reading for the first few chapters. Pray for me friends that I stop dozing off during my bible time! I am doing my best to rejoice in the greatness of God's creation!
So yeah that was my actual point here: I'm reading through the bible this year. Care to join me?