Thursday, October 9, 2008

Is this the road less travelled?

Oh that God! He sure does like to lead us sheep!

I have come to realize that God has decided to start me on a journey that I never asked to take! I should have wanted to take it but, of course he didn't wait for my permission! He just set me down on the path! I also think it's possible that he then sat back and said, "Okay, let's watch what she does. Heh Heh Heh." ~ I don't mean that to sound like the Snidely Whiplash style evil laugh so much as the parent who knows that their kid isn't going to learn anything the easy way and figures that they might as well enjoy watching them try.~

So, anyway, I guess this journey began about a year ago. In order to be a good support to someone very important in my life, I had to face some issues in my past that I never really worked through. In the process, I had the unique opportunity to see the other side of things more clearly. I gained some very valuable new perspective.
I forgave~ or perhaps more accurately- began to forgive~ someone I really never thought I could or even should forgive. It is interesting how you can preach to others the importance of forgiveness and how not forgiving only hurts you blah blah blah......... but then when you do it; when you really get to that point where you are willing to stop being so angry, it really does feel better. The whole world brightens up a bit.

Now, it seems, the journey is a sort of metaphorical house of mirrors. Each time I turn a corner, I get a different, head-on view of myself. Once I get comfortable with what I see, I get to move on. Of course, as I go I have that constant feeling in the pit of my stomach that I'm not gonna like what I see at the next turn, or that I'm going to get turned around and end up facing "mirrors" I've already faced. I feel some certainty that I will find my way out of the maze and when I do I'll step into the sunlight and feel that exhilarating rush of accomplishment. I just fret a bit - okay a lot- about all that comes first.

I try to stay focused on the positives in my life; all the good that has come from this journey and past journeys. This helps. God has been good to me. He has placed some of the worlds most amazing people in my path and this has brought me great joy! Recently I have received compliments that leave me speechless and help me to believe that I really am doing things right. Just last night a sweet, new friend said, "Mel, I'm so glad I know you." And another person whom I love wholeheartedly actually told me I was one of the best people he knows. When I receive blessings like that, how can I possibly choose to dwell on the negative? How can I NOT continue on this path? I must! I will! It is the road less travelled, I think. But I don't mind forging a path. Someone I love may need to take the same route and what greater joy could there be than helping guide them and making the way easier for them.

1 comment:

Dawn said...

I am glad you are able to choose to forgive. What I mean is that as a Christian, we are all given the ability to forgive. The choosing - well, God gave us free will - so it's still up to us to do it! I know what you mean about the release once you do; there are some in my life I think I am just too happy to stay angry at, but I am hoping that someday soon I will be brave enough to choose to forgive. Thanks for forging a path and reminding us all that it can be done. By the way, I love what a great listener you are. Such a soft heart! Love ya sweets!